Zones of Comfort




     Everyone has some sort of comfort zone - a place where they can be safe, be who they want to be. Venture out of that comfort zone....what does it mean?  
     I would describe my zone as a quiet, simple, yet lonely little place.  I have a couple of friends who I talk to but having intimate, one on one conversations make me a little uncomfy.  I do not like going to public places (namely stores or events) by myself.  I am not real big on public places.  I'm still delving into the WHY I don't.
     I'm really having a hard time coming out of my comfort zone.  I have always been a little shy, especially when it comes to talking with people one on one.  I am so self conscience and scared of being judged that I cannot seem to be comfortable with people I want to be comfortable with.  However, it feels like with time, I get more shy.
     A lack of self confidence is what I have.  Why can't I just not care?  Why can't I just say what I want to say?  I have never been able to be myself.  I have always felt like I am supposed to be different.  I am the kind of person others call a "people pleaser" but yet I never put MY needs first.  I do not know if that is part of the zone or if it is just that I do not feel worth the time.
     I feel like my "comfort zone" has put up a wall so high that I may not ever be able to reach the top.  I do not want to live like that. Obviously, boundaries are necessary, but I am so lonely that I crave venturing over that wall...but how?  Where do I begin?  
     Is it "political correctness" that has made me worried that by telling a girl FRIEND that I love her makes me a lesbian or hugging someone is too intimate? Why can't I have a boy for a best friend without someone thinking I am romantically involved? All issues that have come up in my life.
     I just want to be happy....

~~alleedreams~~
     

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